everybody loves lesbians! male homos? not so much.

ugh. i've had a number of boring conversations with a bisexual female friend regarding the lesbian-laden ads that have become ubiquitous lately. she insists that it's because we here in america have become so much more accepting of homosexuality. i insist that it's because men find lesbianism sexy and we live in a society that caters to male sexual imperatives. and i usually like to throw in the fact that my bi friend would obviously prefer it if we lived in a world where homosexuality is no big deal. she'd also prefer it if her sexual predilections weren't fodder for male masturbatory fantasies. boy, some people are a bit unrealistic when it comes to how the world works.

there are any number of ads featuring women suggestively eying each other while polishing off drinks or trying on jeans and while the sexual aspect may not always be overt, it's certainly implied. and you can't open a magazine or look at more than a few billboards without seeing this stuff. the ads always feature women though, because female homosexuality is a turn-on for straight men who are still repulsed and threatened by male homosexuality. more women should be disgusted by the cheap exploitation of their sexuality, but people are congenitally incapable of ceding their beloved (and wholly imagined) autonomy, so exploitation has been instead processed as some kind of general acceptance for all homosexuality. dummies.

much as i hate always being right, some proof of my astonishing brilliance came this week. an out male singer named adam lambert tongue-kissed a male bandmate during a performance recently and it's kicked up a storm. now, i know what you're thinking: the famous britney spears-madonna lip-lock also caused quite a stir. but that was a few years ago and same sex kissing should be old news by now, right? well, here's your big old double standard: when lambert appeared on a cbs tv show to talk about this incident, the guy-on-guy kiss was blurred by censors, yet during the same show they re-aired the ol' britney-madonna spit-fest and there was no blurring. you read that correctly: a network television show blurred video of a man-to-man kiss as if it was a mutilated body but then showed a completely uncensored woman-to-woman kiss scant minutes later.

the moral of this story is simple: if you're a lesbian and you think that your sexual orientation is gaining acceptance in society, you are an idiot. lesbianism is being exploited by oversexed men who find it titillating, plain and simple. just because you want a magical world where there's no prejudice doesn't mean you should turn a blind eye to reality. somebody at cbs' standards and practices felt that it would be totally okay to show a couple of girls playing tongue hockey, while a clip of two guys doing the same thing was handled like the footage was of a bloody massacre. hello?